Burnin down the house

So I’m totally sick of beast mode. Beast mode can suck it. I’m tired of writing my stupid numbers down, tired of counting carbs, tired of checking my sugar so often, tired of not sleeping through the night. I’m just stinkin’ tired.

So I took a small break. Just from writing the numbers down. Still counting and bolusing the best I can but not writing it all down. Wow, its been heavenly. It’s a small taste of freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom.

I did that for about a week, until I noticed my sugars were starting to escalate, ever so sneakily.  Those bastards. And I started to get lazy on counting my carbs, I splurged on meals way too often….and started to maybe forget to take my insulin before meals. Oh and the gym….forget it. My average blood sugar for the week went from 124 to 150!! Beast mode had completely left the building. Uggggg.

My conscience ate at me….

Think about those little fingers and toes, how that tiny little body is depending on you to keep it healthy and growing properly, think about the added WEIGHT that elevated sugars will pack on the baby, think about how your Dr is counting on you to be compliant and kick butt, how he says you know how to take care of yourself, think of the way you can help others by being a good example, think about that healthy baby…..

I had become lazy. So lazy. It felt so good until it didn’t. So back I go. It’s amazing how stopping one simple thing: writing the numbers down, could create such a domino effect.

Journey on!