I’ve decided there is a whole separate culture of American’s, or maybe just humans in general, that have made it completely acceptable to bash and complain about their spouse and moan and groan about their kids to anyone and everyone. Like it’s the cool thing to do. And everyone does it. And if you don’t do it, you must be very naive and you just haven’t experienced enough of “real life” to know what you’re talking about. You’re a square. So of course you either get made fun of, talked down to, and get called things like “oh sweetie” and “you’re so cute” in very condescending tones. Or feel the pressure to give in and join the Slamfest. As if I’m 17 years old again and my high school friends are shocked that I’ve never smoked, drank, or had sex….oh or used any of the “really bad” swear words (**GASP!!**). Which somehow makes them treat me as if I’m simple-minded and I have to be babied like a lost little puppy. Its very offensive.
Anyway, back to the preggo-related part. So what’s the deal with people throwing their negative energy my way, all the while knowing I’m expecting my first child this year. Here is just a sample:
(*someone sees the hubs and I smiling and kissy-faced with each other*) ”just wait til kids come along, you won’t be so happy then”
“honey, sleep now while you can cos you will never sleep the same, oh how I miss sleep. and say goodbye to anything YOU want to do in life”
“any chance I get, I spend time away from my husband and kids”
“sometimes I forget why I even married my husband”
“kids come first and become the priority so don’t expect your relationship with your husband to continue to be peachy”
“your WHOLE life is going to change, I mean big time. you can’t just go out and have fun like you do now”
“you probably won’t be able to go on vacation for about 10 years”
10 years? Really? You obviously don’t know my obsession with travel 😉 And yes no kidding my life is going to change, we are bringing another person into our family. A person who will learn from us and depend on us. How could I not expect my life to change? Oh that’s right, I’m young, naive and slow and must not know these things. BUT does change have to come with such negative vibes attached to it? When people talk about change due to kids, more often than not, it has negative undertones. And it’s just plain annoying. Don’t crap all over my wonderful marriage and vomit on my hopes of a happy family just because you may not be pleased with yours.
But really, I think these people are so used to the way they talk, it’s so normal to them that they don’t even realize they are coming off so pessimistic and cynical. That’s no excuse though, in my eyes. When I’m engulfed in people that come from that culture of trash talking, I refuse to give in. I’m not perfect, just as my husband is not perfect, but how uplifting and edifying is it, and what kind of integrity does it show, if I’m smack talking my spouse behind his back. I realize these people most likely love their spouses, and would do anything for their kids. But I never hear anything out of their mouths that could possibly be mistaken for love/like/respect/courtesy/